Are you too sexy for a condom?

Richard Fairbrass of 90s pop group Right Said Fred talks about gay sexual health issues and how to stay safe

1. How important do you think the issue of sexual health is to gay men?

It should be very important especially when you are going out clubbing. I think the problem with club life in big cities is there’s an awful lot of drugs on the scene. When it’s five in the morning your defences are down and sexual health is not top of your list of priorities.

But it’s very important, and not just sexual health, but a general sense of wellbeing: avoiding drugs, cutting down on drinking, and cutting back on smoking.

2. Do you think younger or older men need to pay more attention to sexual health messages?

Both. But people of my generation probably know people who have died from HIV, and probably know people who are living with HIV. We went through the 1980s so we know what this condition is.

Some people, 30 and under, think HIV is like diabetes – that drugs can turn it into a manageable condition. But there are long-term issues with taking drugs for the rest of your life and I don’t think the under-30s are fully appreciative of this.

3. Does there come a point in a long-term relationship when using protection no longer becomes an issue?

I know a lot of gay couples where anal sex is not a big part of what they do. There are lots of things you can do with your partner in bed. If you’re not indulging in anal sex, then condom use is something you can discuss with your partner. But anal sex without a condom is an absolute no no.*

There has to be a high level of trust between two people. You could be with someone for 10 or 20 years and come to an agreement that you are going to have unprotected sex, but if one of you plays away from home, that instantly changes the situation completely.

Couples in that situation must understand that this presumes complete and utter trust in your partner.

4. Would you go for a sexual health MOT with your partner?

If I was in a long-term relationship and we were fed up with condoms – they made an awful smell when we put them on the bonfire in the garden or something – then we would both go and get tested and then make a fundamental commitment not to play away from home.

Regarding testing, if you think you may have herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, warts, etc, my advice is get tested the minute you think something may be up. But if you’re having an HIV test, you have to have it absolutely crystal clear in your head that there’s a chance you could test positive.

How are you going to feel about your future and your life if it’s positive? It’s a huge life-changing episode in your life, and this carries with it a degree of baggage that you need to be aware of.

5. Can you offer any advice to someone thinking about visiting a sexual health clinic?

It you’re going for an HIV test, go with a close friend or relative in case the result doesn’t go the way you want. Think about having counselling before the test, and it should be offered to you afterwards. In terms of testing for STIs, it depends how confident you are.

If you’re very young and haven’t been before it’s going to be a bigger issue for you, so you may want to take a friend along. If I was going for a normal STI check-up I would probably go on my own. If it was for an HIV test I would definitely not go on my own.

6. What would your advice be for people who have one-night stands?

Play safe every single time. And don’t ever expect it to make you happy.

* It is also a good idea to use a condom when having oral sex or sharing sex toys.

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